Clicking the "Unfriend" Button in Real Life

If you're familiar with the phrase "emotional vampires," you likely strive to keep these people at arm's length; surrounding yourself with those who suck the life force out of you is the quickest way to catch the "disease." As we saw in a previous post (Are You Eeyore or Pooh?), there's absolutely no effort needed to be a Debbie Downer, but we nearly kill ourselves tripping over mental road signs that remind us to emit only positive vibes. So what possible benefit is there in willingly sucking the discharge from other people's emotional exhaust pipe?

Relationships are fluid; many of the people who cross your path are not meant to stay there. There's no unspoken rule that says you must accommodate every acquaintance, friend, spouse or business associate for the rest of your life, yet so many of us feel a gnawing obligation to put up with ill-fitting relationships for fear of being less than a good friend/business partner/family member. Instead your integrity suffers when you fail to be a friend to yourself first.

And yes, you are absolutely allowed to emotionally emancipate yourself from parents, siblings, aunts, uncles or anyone else in your clan who drags you through the gutter. Why should they receive special treatment simply because you share a genetic disposition? In fact, sometimes that's actually the best reason *to* break away.

It matters not if they're family, friends or coworkers; if you're a magnet for drama queens, boors, martyrs, attention seekers, criticizers and hypochondriacs, it's time to make some changes. But how do you expunge someone from your life without feelings getting hurt in the process? Well, you can't. But you can take steps that help the individual save face and you escape guilt. Therese Borchard's You Deplete Me: 10 Steps to End a Toxic Relationship is a snappy, somewhat snarky but completely engaging summation of who, what, when, why and how to purge an unhealthy relationship.