There was a time before the advent of elderly facilities when adult children took in their aging parents as self-care began to wane. This 'burden' was more an honor (filial piety) than a sacrifice in a time when the world moved more slowly and demands on time and finances were not so severe. Today, with assisted living facilities priced out of reach for those financially stretched to the breaking point, aging parents are moving in with their adult children to avoid living out their days in a government-run nursing home.
Much of the struggle to support older folks is directly due to the "sandwich" generation: younger Baby Boomers raising families, working outside the home and tending to the complex emotional needs of aging Baby Boomer parents. Because people are living considerably longer (but not necessarily healthier) than they were just 50 years ago, adult children are faced with many more years as caregivers compared with previous generations.
But it's not always health issues that force elderly parents to forfeit their independence. The Census Bureau reports that between 2000 and 2007, older moms and dads who moved in with their adult children increased 67% from 2.2 million to 3.6 million. This sharp increase coincided with the economic crisis and the burden it placed on them to remain financially independent.
Answering the S.O.S.
Carol Abaya, credited with coining the phrase when she embraced responsi-bility for her 85-year-old mother and 90-year-old father, unwittingly laid much-needed groundwork for adult children to successfully cope with such an emotional challenge. Sharing her trial-and-error experiences through books and lectures has been invaluable for an ever-expand-ing generation of adult caregivers. "One of the challenges of being a sandwich generationer is to understand the feelings of aging parents and to deal with them in a way that the dignity of the older person is preserved." Information and Referral programs serve as a lifeline to the elderly and their family members.
But it's not always health issues that force elderly parents to forfeit their independence. The Census Bureau reports that between 2000 and 2007, older moms and dads who moved in with their adult children increased 67% from 2.2 million to 3.6 million. This sharp increase coincided with the economic crisis and the burden it placed on them to remain financially independent.
Answering the S.O.S.Carol Abaya, credited with coining the phrase when she embraced responsi-bility for her 85-year-old mother and 90-year-old father, unwittingly laid much-needed groundwork for adult children to successfully cope with such an emotional challenge. Sharing her trial-and-error experiences through books and lectures has been invaluable for an ever-expand-ing generation of adult caregivers. "One of the challenges of being a sandwich generationer is to understand the feelings of aging parents and to deal with them in a way that the dignity of the older person is preserved." Information and Referral programs serve as a lifeline to the elderly and their family members.
Bridging the Generation Gap
It's not always burdensome when grandma or grandpa come to live with the family, especially when it solidifies the intergenerational bond. Grandparents connect with grandchildren by sharing a lifetime of skills, knowledge and stories, but kids have valuable lessons to give the older folks, as well. Appreciation of and respect for those who have lived three-quarters of a century has escaped the awareness of today's young people; intergenerational living arrangements can serve as the bridge to help close that wide chasm.
The value of intergener-ational family living is that everyone in the household can learn from one another. Not only do aging parents keep in touch with the outside world, but they also engage with younger family members in such a way to achieve their own altruistic needs.
A timely article indeed. I see more of the sandwich generation everywhere - I especially related to the quote by C. Abaya that ""One of the challenges of being a sandwich generationer is to understand the feelings of aging parents and to deal with them in a way that the dignity of the older person is preserved."
ReplyDeleteThank you for this interesting article!
--Jool